Mindful Communication
WHAT DO YOU SAY…
You are in a conversation with someone.
Have you ever said something and as soon as you said it you regret that you ever spoke?
Do you speak so that you will feel better about yourself?
To be heard and recognized as being smarter?
Is it to meet the societal expectation of being involved in a conversation with other to support community and friendship?
Do you speak to avoid the discomfort of silence? Do you speak to present yourself in a particular way to meet some unmet psychological need?
Do you know what you are going to say and more importantly why you are going to say what you say?
Do you speak to present yourself in a particular way to meet some unmet psychological need?
If you say something is it because you have something important and meaningful to say or you just need to say something in order to be heard.
We actually have the capacity to be aware of what we are going to say before we say it. The words are spoken internally before they are vocalized and we can train ourselves to listen. Before you speak say WAIT - this will create an intentional pause before your mindless speaking and allow you to tune into what your mind has already subconsciously and autonomously created to say. Then reflect on WAIT, which stands for, Why Am I Talking?
It is in this PAUSE between WAIT and SPEAKING that will allow you the CLARITY and INSIGHT to SPEAK SKILLFULLY without harming.
MINDFUL COMMUNICATION
Fully Arrive - by embodying an alert-yet-relaxed posture has the added benefit of communicating to others attentiveness and respect. Try practicing a naturalistic version of Mountain Pose, either standing or seated in a chair. Alert yet Relaxed.
Breathe In Curiosity, Breathe Out Stability - Pay attention to your breathing (stability), bringing curiosity to yourself and to others. Your ability to be simultaneously curious and grounded is likely to communicate that you are self-aware, and that you are willing to listen and act with goodwill.
Connect to the Generous Interpretation - When meeting resistance, a common stress reaction is for our focus to narrow. Biologically, this is part of our body’s preparation for fight-or-flight. Our deep instincts start to take over. At very high levels of stress, we may want to either hastily retreat or bulldoze ahead with our own agenda and shut down others.
if you can catch yourself starting to react to resistance, go back to your alert-yet-relaxed posture and returning to your grounded curiosity breathing. Having shifted and re-collected yourself, you are better equipped to redirect your attention away from a stress response and your narrowing focus toward a more generous interpretation of what is happening.
A, B and C— ARRIVE, BREATH, CONNECT